“There’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so”
~ Shakespeare
I was getting pissed off at my mum because of her criticisms and she asked me, “Why are you upset?” It was only then I realized I was frowning hard.
The expression I showed on my face didn’t even occur to me – it came so naturally like an unconscious reaction.
The thing is, my response was not unconscious, but it was a reaction – an immediate and conscious response. So I stopped frowning and took on what came next with a better attitude. This is because I was and I am able to look at things in better perspectives and react to them in a controlled and conscious way.
I need to remember that between stimulus and response, I have the freedom to choose.
However I am definitely not suggesting that it is okay to criticise someone. Constructive feedback – yes – but not criticism.
I, most of the time, react badly to criticism. Criticism conjures dark emotions that can blind me from realising that I have the power to look at it in a positive light.
It makes it hard for me to see others’ perspective. My mum’s criticisms are not a way for her to express how much she cares for me and thus wants to improve me, instead, I feel they are an attack.
This is partially why I really like what Dale Carnegie says about criticism:
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”
Ahh… so wise.
But for now, because my mum is a fantastic “argumenter” and from previous experience of raising this topic before, I shall continue to see the light in what initially appears to be darkness – because I think I can.
~ Shakespeare
I was getting pissed off at my mum because of her criticisms and she asked me, “Why are you upset?” It was only then I realized I was frowning hard.
The expression I showed on my face didn’t even occur to me – it came so naturally like an unconscious reaction.
The thing is, my response was not unconscious, but it was a reaction – an immediate and conscious response. So I stopped frowning and took on what came next with a better attitude. This is because I was and I am able to look at things in better perspectives and react to them in a controlled and conscious way.
I need to remember that between stimulus and response, I have the freedom to choose.
However I am definitely not suggesting that it is okay to criticise someone. Constructive feedback – yes – but not criticism.
I, most of the time, react badly to criticism. Criticism conjures dark emotions that can blind me from realising that I have the power to look at it in a positive light.
It makes it hard for me to see others’ perspective. My mum’s criticisms are not a way for her to express how much she cares for me and thus wants to improve me, instead, I feel they are an attack.
This is partially why I really like what Dale Carnegie says about criticism:
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”
Ahh… so wise.
But for now, because my mum is a fantastic “argumenter” and from previous experience of raising this topic before, I shall continue to see the light in what initially appears to be darkness – because I think I can.